Just Had An Ultrasound Done......

 Hi, I haven't been diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  I have lost my Meme because of it.  But I am 40 and now on the path of being afraid that it could be a chance that I could have breast cancer as well.

Now, before you all think I'm being a hypocondriac....I'm not.  But it does scare me.  I have 2 kids and a loving husband that I can't imagine putting through anything.  We just lost my sister in law in September to Stage 4 Gallbladder cancer at the age of 46.  So a little panic stricken.

Now, my story why I'm panicking.  I went to my first Ultrasound.  The sweet lady squished the girls.  Told me since I'm young I will probably be back for another visit because I have dense breast.  Most woman my age do.  My thought, do everything you need to do now then.  So I get the call that they missed me.  I went back in and the vibe was different.  It wasn't easy going and standard procedure.  The new lady had her orders for certain positions.  After the girls get their new close ups she has me wait.  Well that was new.  Why can't I just get dressed?  She told me the radiologist will let me know if he needs anything else and discuss with me the results.  Ummm k?  So he spoke with her and asks if I have a mole under my right breast?  I told her no.  Well my word wasn't good enough so she had to look.  I don't think my husband pays this much attention to my breast!  So she tells me to get dressed and we are going down for an ultrasound.  

As I am laying on the ultrasound table with more attention then I care to have feeling free.  I am watching every click and picture she is taking.  She working on my Right breast.  I affectionately call her Rosita.  I  noticed a blackness on the screen.  I wondered what it was, then again I thought probably nothing because I'm not a doctor and anytime I think it's something it's usually nothing.  But as I'm glancing at the screen she's very chatty with me.  I bring up cancer because she may know my sister in law (small town).  She says "oh yeah" but changes the subject.  Seemed odd.

Now it's time for the Left, she goes by Lucy...she simple.  As she's scanning and looking for something.  I say "Well that doesnt look like the other one".  Her response again has me confused and twisted "Oh you know, it's just like your hands.  They can be different, ones bigger you know cause we use it more!"

So now I'm confused, worried and by myself because I just assumed this was all going to be a normal procedure.  She brings in the radiologist. (Sorry trying to wrap it up since I'm going on and on)  He has her bring up the images and says that they found a mass in my right breast and he isn't sure what it is.  He won't say it is or isn't cancer.  But wants to do a biopsy on it.  My sweet little techincian says "She didn't hear anything you said".  And she's right.  After he said there was a mass I went numb.  She just kept hugging me.  He did say they thought on the mamogramm they saw something on the left breast but the ultrasound was clear.  I didn't see anything either.  The right side was obvious.  It looked like a paw print honestly.  It wasn't just round. 

Now tomorrow/today/Friday December 21 I have my biopsy scheduled because my sweet technician said she is pushing me in.  I am supposed to know the results in 2-3 days....well that's business days....and of course Christmas is after that so probably won't hear til Thursday or Friday I'm guessing.  So I am stressed and nervous.  

And the lump they found, I can't even feel it.  But I do have discharge from that side and it does tend to hurt from time to time.  

So please send prayers for me.  I know I'm asking alot for those whom are suffering but I don't know whom else to turn to.  I'm not discussing this with my friends or family because I don't want to say anything until I have news. 

💓