Topic of the discussion
Posted on 5/27/20 1:01 PM
So I'm not sure how to do the whole spill your guts routine I am not use to talking at all I'm the one that listens and you forget I'm there which is how I like it honestly
But just year after year of wearing my mask I'm honestly sick of it(profanity is a big part of my vocabulary I promise to keep it minimal)and what I mean by "mask".
I only learned one thing a piece by either parent my dad was how to ride a bike and my mom was a fake personality. Not saying they were bad people but looking back I can see they were parented out.
I understand there are certain things I did in my youth that I'm not at peace with and it will haunt my dreams until the day I die.
Thank you for letting me share I hope who ever reads this has a great day:)
Beginning of the discussion - 5/27/20"If you ask for my face, I will give you a mask" - Feeling like I can't be myself with others https://www.carenity.us/forum/depression/living-with-depression/if-you-ask-for-my-face-i-will-give-you-a-mask-1971
Posted on 5/27/20 3:23 PM
@Brian081 Hello Brian, thank you for starting this discussion. I can take a lot of courage to share your story and inner feelings with others! I think you express a feeling that many of us are familiar with - the feeling that we can't be ourselves with others or that we have to put on another "face" to be accepted. Let me tag some other members who can maybe share their experience with this.
Hello members, how are you doing today? Have you ever felt like you can't be yourself with others or that you have to act a certain way to be accepted? Have you found a way to overcome it? Do you have any advice or thoughts to share with Brian?
@ktolson21 @nocturnal_girl @Joannaramos6 @Option @Chester301579 @Nyjewel11 @Cbender93 @carley11 @Starzie11 @Woobie99 @Pkay127 @Proudmom21215 @Fredhines @Chelseaann1991 @Blueboy @lonelyHunter
Posted on 5/27/20 4:16 PM
I can relate to feeling like you have to wear a mask. I used to be a city worker and everyone that worked there talked with about every 3rd or 4th word starting with an “F” if you know what I mean.
I struggled with trying to fit in and it seemed like the only way to get accepted was to also adopt the every 3rd or 4th starting with an “F” routine. I found that yes I could join them in the short term, but I couldn’t maintain it because of my moral compass.
It took a few years, but I got to the point that I didn’t like who I was becoming. So I stopped and decided if people couldn’t accept me then so be it. The most interesting thing happened, people treated me the same as before and they actually stopped swearing as much as they had previously!
So I encourage you to be yourself! Yes it can be hard to be different but being true to yourself is the most important thing!
Posted on 5/27/20 11:32 PM
Courtney and Chester thank you for your kind words I greatly appreciate it..
I guess the best way to put it i know not everyone is bad but I expect the worst out people no matter what
I always have this odd notion that everyone means me harm which I know is dumb but but it's always so real I even realize while this is taking place that I am wrong but I can't help it
It's just very frustrating
Posted on 5/31/20 11:30 AM
I totally understand your frustration, I'm in the same boat. My filter is that people are mean, intend to hurt me and that I will never fit in with "normal" people and their happy lives.
I'm almost 50 now, and I'm soooo tired of the pain. I hope being here in this forum helps us all.
Posted on 6/1/20 6:15 PM
@Brian081 Wow you put into words a lot of what I've been feeling. Good to know we're not alone. I've been working on trying to lower my guard and be myself but it's hard.