How can I help someone else when I also need help myself?

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Patients Depression

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I often struggle with the weight of life’s problems. I have been rejected and set aside more times than I can count, but lately I have been feeling extra down because I found the sweetest guy I have ever met, but it feels like his depression is worse than mine. I want to help him, but nothing I say is good enough. I love him and want to help him, but how am I supposed to help him when I’m in the same boat?

Beginning of the discussion - 10/5/20

How can I help someone else when I also need help myself?


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@Indy10 This is such an important topic you've brought up, and you sound like a caring person. Has he considered getting some help for his depression? It's hard and not fair on you to have to cope for the two of you.

This makes me think of the thing that flight attendants say on airplanes. You know when they say that you have to put the air mask on yourself before you help others around you? I think it can be helpful to think about when it comes to depression. It's hard to help others when you need help yourself. You can only guide him in the right direction, point him in the way of some good resources, because you also need to think about and take care of yourself. Make sure you're doing ok and you're getting help too. 

How can I help someone else when I also need help myself?


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Well said jasmine1092 it's like the saying goes you can't love someone else until you love yourself. 

I believe that it is admirable that you want to help your friend but if you are sick of what use will you be to your friends. Physician heal thyself. 

How can I help someone else when I also need help myself?


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@jasmine1092 He also helps me. We kind of balance each other out somehow. When I need him, he’s there for me and when he needs me, I’m there for him. 

How can I help someone else when I also need help myself?


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