I am feeling alone and don't have anyone to talk to

@Tstokes I have done the exact same thing and now I kinda regret it because I always feel alone

@Pamela_Levi so this week was a good example of , " What am I suppose to do?" I'm watching my favorite football team. They aren't doing well so I'm making comments and just venting my frustration. When I go upstairs, my wife asks me why and what I'm yelling at. I tell her I was just venting about the football team playing so badly, no big deal. Well not to her. She's upset because she thinks I'm yelling about the results I got back from my MRI of the pituitary gland. They found 2 benign tumors that are causing adrenal insufficiency and causing extreme fatigue. When I explained what was really going on, she totally melted down and began crying. She said she was so tired of never seeming to get a break. First lesson learned. Your spouse/caregiver feels everything your feeling if not more at times. Second lesson learned when you want to really vent, make sure they are no where in ear shot of hearing you. So, I understand her feelings but I really thought letting some steam off on a ballgame was pretty safe. I was yelling at her. I wasn't even yelling about all the crappy breaks I've gotten. What about my feelings. I try to shield her and my family from so much because I know it's not easy to watch someone suffer and not to seem to get any breaks. But sometimes it just feels better to have someone you can just vent to. Do I always have to go out to my shop, make sure no ones around and scream at the walls? Right now, it seems like the answer is yes. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to me! It just sucks, this loneliness you feel when you have Cancer.

@BettyThomas thank you Betty. I did have a conversation with my wife about how I was feeling and it helped a great deal. I think this is a good example of holding our true feelings in check/inside and not sharing because we don't want to burden them with more pain. All that does is make us feel bad, alone and it negatively effects us. When we can share how we're feeling in a calm and productive manner, it's better for both of us.

@Tstokes I can relate 100% to ALL your feeling and saying! I lost my husband before my cancer diagnosis, although we suspected cancer at that time but I didn’t have a way to get checked out by the right dr. So, even though it’s TOUGH, definitely try to remember it’s better to have a partner to go through all these hard days with!!! I do have loving and supportive kids/grands, but it’s just not the same. I have a friend from my church I vent to and it truly does help A TON!! On the really rough days, I find myself yelling or crying or being mad at the world and my daughter that lives with me takes the brunt of it and I feel horrible when I get like that- so I so a lot of PRAYING in my room, crying alone, venting in my pillow or closet out of ear shot!!! She’s 19 and absolutely doesn’t deserve ANY of this after losing her dad at 10 years old- she’s a wonderful supportive and helpful daughter and I feel awful when I can’t have the strength to just suck it up and get through it but I do have my bad days like everyone else. I think positive and have a ton of faith in God, who has worked miracles in me- I’m also stage 4… they didn’t think I would be here one year in 2018 and God healed me, I was in remission for 2.5 yrs and now it’s back. I just have to keep fighting, keep the faith, keep venting to the right people in the right way & I am thankful to have a place like this to come and share these hard truths when needed! God bless you and your wife and I pray for all the survivors and warriors on here to prevail over this horrible disease & sicknesses!!!! Stay blessed!

@Kgsims Very well said and I wish you the best in your struggles with cancer. Thanks for sharing your experiences

Marc