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Patients Depression

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Topic of the discussion

Member Carenity • Community manager
Posted on

Hi everyone,

Depression is no different than the numerous other chronic conditions in that it can affect, in one way or another, relationships.

How does depression affect your relationships?

If you are a partner or a loved one of an individual with depression, how does his/her depression affect the relationship?

Beginning of the discussion - 5/28/19

Depression and Relationships?
Member Carenity
Posted on

This is a great topic. I fear that my depression causes much stress on my relationship. I feel my depression causes me to feel less confident of myself, which in turn makes me feel insecure. I think this also comes with my other conditions, but I am certain that being depressed does not help.

My partner is pretty understanding, but I can imagine it is exhausting for him.

Depression and Relationships?
Member Carenity
Posted on

I have always struggled with sustaining healthy relationships. my depression takes me to dark places sometimes and it's really hard to let people into my life. I am not in a relationship right now and i don't know when i will find someone ... I hope to find someone who is caring and understanding someday. 

Depression and Relationships?
Member Carenity
Posted on

I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 6 months, because she was lying to me and I’m sure she was seeing other people as well. I’ve been depressed ever since. Can’t sleep. Haven’t been hungry, lost 15+ lbs. I don’t want her back or anything like that, but I’m just constantly sad. Sometimes have what I think are panic attacks (rapid breathing. Fast heart beat) I’m tired of it.

Depression and Relationships?
Member Carenity
Posted on

@Hidden username relationships are hard and it is common to face hard times after you break up with a girlfriend or boyfriend. I hope you have gotten better. I know my brother recently went through depression after a break up. It was a few months ago now. He is much better mentally now. I hope you are doing better.

Depression and Relationships?
Member Carenity
Posted on

I feel like my depression is a constant problem in my relationship. Me and my boyfriend got into a fight last night and he threw my mental state up in my face. I just wish it was easier to control. 

Depression and Relationships?
Member Carenity
Posted on

I feel like my depression has effected relationships. I had a lot of bad things happen to me in a short period of time. My mother passed away in 2015 and 1 month later my husband I had been with for 10 years left. He cheated and had a baby with the girl he cheated with. 6 months later I entered a new relationship and it was an abusive one it took me two years to get out but I did it. During that time my dad passed away in 2017 20 days before my mother's death date. My moms being dec 26th and my dads being dec 6th. I developed a drinking problem I was drinking everyday I stopped for a while but only occasions but not every day like I was. Maybe a glass of wine at night every once in a while. I have a lot of trust issues and I think a lot of it is caused from my depression and anxiety. I entered another relationship and we recently broke up he couldnt handle me on my bad days and he would always fight with me and scream at me about why I cried so much so I just learned to bottle it up and try to hide it. We are trying to work through everything but we had a baby together but I unfortunately lost the baby due to an eptopic pregnancy which cause my depression to come back full force I started drinking again but I have been trying to stop that I know it doesnt help. He has his own issues with anger and it doesnt clash well with my depression and ptsd from my passed relationship. Right now I just feel like I've hit such a low point in my life and I dont know what to do anymore. I just want to be happy. 

Depression and Relationships?
Member Carenity
Posted on

This depends on the severe ness of the depression each individual has. I can’t speak for anyone else but myself when I say depression has affected my family relationships along with my personal relationship and most importantly my relationship with myself. It’s not always about your S/O but it’s about Everyone. But personally, depression is pushing myself away from the one that I love. It kills me every single day that I constantly push him away. I’m always fearful that I’m not worth any attention from him. That no matter how hard I try, I will never be good enough or I won’t ever make him happy. I feel like a shadow in my relationship just waiting to be free, but it never happens. I’m constantly making up scenarios in my head about him leaving, even tho I’m practically pushing him out the door. I don’t mean to. It just happens. It’s a constant battle with me and my head, my heart wants me to shut up and deal with things and just make him Happy, and I try. But my mind tells me differently, it over powers my heart and tells me nothing lasts, it tells me I’m crazy for being who I am. It tells me that he’s going to leave, and no matter how much reassurance I get, it doesn’t change it. It tells me Over and over again that he doesn’t love me. It says that I don’t belong with him, or in the world. That I can only ever make him truly happy if I leave. But I don’t want to. I feel like this affects my S/O a ton. I know I make him feel worthless because of my issues, I know I can’t make him the best he can be. I act out on him because of this. I’ve had hurtful past relationships that I feel has caused me to act the way I do. But I couldn’t ever be sure. I always feel replaceable, when he goes to work, I act out because he works with these girls who are so beautiful and nice and I’m here causing him hell at home. I don’t try to. I wish I could be like other girls, but instead I look at myself and I only see a fat ugly worthless piece of trash. I feel like he is looking for peace, and I always tell myself he’s going to leave me for one of his co workers, it’s hard because to end up feeling better, I sleep. Constantly. When he’s at work, I cry. I know he’s up there working closely with these other young girls who could make him so much more happier than I ever did. And all it takes is for someone to catch his attention, just the way I did at one point. So depression affects my relationship in a major way. Always fearful of the next step, always aware of a giant void in my heart mind and body. Constantly upset, even when I don’t realize it, and it causes me to act out, and throw the blame on him, and accuse him if things, like making me this way. 

Depression and Relationships?
Member Carenity
Posted on

@Hidden username I was really touched reading your story. I hope you are doing OK currently. Have you sought out counseling? You have been through a lot in relationships, and finding a good counselor can help you level set again, find yourself, know your worth, be content with just being with yourself, and understanding what you want in a partner.

I am so sorry to hear of the bad experiences you have had, but from your story, you can tell you are a fighter. 

Hope to hear back from you.