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Patients Depression

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Member Carenity
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hello. My name is John, I am 18 years old and i have been diagnosed with PTSD. growing up, my parents were constantly fighting, breaking up, and getting back together until they got divorced when i was 10. when i was 11 years old, my father overdosed on heroin, while I was asleep in the same room. I woke up and found my father lifeless and ever since i have been a changed person. I was an outgoing, charismatic, ladies man; and that was gone after him.

Ive been hospitalized twice for this and its been almost 7 months since i got out and i was doing ok until about 2 months ago

I started observing people differently, like all i could see are their flaws. i feel disconnected from everybody and feel unable to form a real legitimate connection with anybody. i'm feeling very suicidal nowadays. im supposed to graduate next year but ive failed the last 2 years straight and now i have to do an extra year of high school.

i just need somebody to talk to about this, who has been through it, and not somebody who is going to tell me how to fix it

Beginning of the discussion - 5/31/18

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Member Carenity
Posted on

My father committed suicide when I was five. He didn’t have a drug problem, but he had PTSD from being in the Korea campaign and no one to talk to. I will listen, 

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I’m really sorry both of you are going through this my wife’s first husband killed Hisself and I know what kind of damanage it does I myself have tried it twice and been hospitalized several times ect and all that theropy and I’m still not in a good place I always take care of everyone but me and it really gets old quickly my mental and physical health have deteriorated greatly I hope it will get better for everyone 

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I have PTSD from being sexually abused as a child. its hard to live with because its a subject no one wants to talk about. I get really bad flash backs and no body understands why I'm so ungrateful and distant.

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Posted on

@tator1999 hi Tator, 

I have found that I have to be selfish and take care of myself. You may have children and they always come first if they are under 18 and no disabilities. Now, I just learned this in the past six months and I am feeling ok. There are good and bad days of severe depression but mostly good. Good luck keeping fighting 

elwood

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@river432 I am so sorry about your flash backs. Sexual assault is so horrific. My stepfather sexually abused me for six years. He started with the tickel game. I never understood why I hated being tickled until about two or three years ago when my therapist was talking about a family member getting a new boyfriend and what was not appropriate for him to do to her kids. Once I found some of my triggers  that caused anxiety and severe bad dreams, I was able to help control some nightmares. 

Good luck

elwood

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thank you i am glad i have people to talk to

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I can’t even emagine what your going through I do have 22years of working in the kitchen I have ptsd and major depression issues also I just found out I have enlarged lymph nodes and a kidney That’s enlarged kinda scarey but I’ll be here to listen as well

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Member Carenity
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Those closest to me just don’t ‘get’ my depression. They want me to just stop it.  I’ve contemplated more than once if life is really worth it.  I feel like I care too much about everyone else and it’s not returned in kind.

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Posted on

I'm on the same boat. I take care of everyone but me. My loved ones always come before me but it seems like everyone puts me in last. I'm tired of listening and helping others.. When's someone gonna help me? Should I feel bad for saying that.. I do. But I'm so tired of being the "tough" one. I don't talk about it because I feel like I'm crazy.. I pray to God a lot I'm trying to find him and lead his path but it's hard. My depression completely takes over. This is my last resort I have no one else. 

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